Being the Bride and being the Mum.

So I was at a wedding at the weekend, My wedding! Finally after years of hoping and wishing this day would come, at last I got to marry my guy, and at last I could say that I am his wife! Best thing about it…our little boy was at the centre of it all.
Like I’m sure so many newly wed couples , we have talked about not much else in the days that followed. Unlike most newly wed couples however, John (the Husband ;0)had to go back to work on the Monday, so it took us until Wednesday night before we could sit down together and open all the cards and gifts. My god people are so generous. We had to pause half way through so John could grab me a face wipe to clean my panda eyes, and top up the wine too ( I know what a cliché, wine and tears…)We must have repeated about ten times how lucky we were to have such amazing family and friends.
Yesterday while going through the Wedding album for maybe the 40th time, I reflected on how, despite it being my Wedding day I still couldn’t switch off from ‘mummy mode’ and wondered was this normal? Very soon after the I do’s and the signing of the register (more like immediately after)I could only think about one thing and one thing only…nap time!
Ever since the very early days Jamie has thrived on routine, and while it hasn’t always been easy, some days a nightmare in fact, it has been so incredibly worth it to stick to our little rythm. Jamie loves his sleep. So when I turned around during the ceremony to see him sitting so quietly, staring into space with the rosiest of cheeks I knew what he needed at that moment, and that was to be snug in his own bed. And cue the flooding of guilt. Which I know sounds silly, but I think as mothers we find ways and reasons for feeling guilty over the most minor of things.
Nuptuals signed and a quick photo or two (Five) later, I took him away from the crowd, for a quiet cuddle and some reassuring words. After all I had spent the previous night away from him, only our second time apart so I was just desperate for that time together.
Along came Dad and my little brother to the rescue and offered to take him out in the buggy. And so under strict instructions to avoid the cobbled streets, the bagpipe players and eye contact, off they headed on the Royal Mile on mission Nap, so that we could continue the photo shoot inside. Half an hour and two gins later dad was still pounding the streets with the buggy, while we toasted our marriage in a nearby pub. Half of me was buzzing with excitement and gin ,the other half wondering if the little guy had his 40 winks yet. At one point I spotted the proud granddad out the window with the red bugaboo and headed out for an update. I would have taken over but I was wearing very pretty shoes, and if you are familiar with the Royal Mile in Edinburgh you will understand why this would be a dangerous combination.
You could tell by looking at him that he was just dying for a sleep, and of course being the age he is it was wishful thinking on our part to assume he would doze off in his buggy, but we persevered. John (Husband) Joined dad in his quest and fitted in some father in law bonding too I’m sure. Leaving me to return to the pub and get merry with the rest of them. And at last those two words buzzed through on the screen of my phone, “he’s asleep”, and the guilt quickly left like a huge sigh of relief.
At home, like clock work, he has his morning and afternoon nap in his cot, this cat nap lasted a hideous 15 mins, but rather that than nothing at all. And with that he was whisked off to the hotel ahead of everyone else by my two fairy god mothers, my sister and my mum. (There is a no kids in pubs rule over here, dogs, yes, babies no). So safe in the knowledge that Jamie was happy in the company of his Nana and his aunty Ali, I could drink gin number three without a care in the world. Mummy hat off, bride hat on.
But all this has me thinking about how uptight I am now that I am someones mummy, and especially about routine. When its nap time, its nap time and some days I try to chill out about it but most days I can’t. He needs those couple of hours rest or he morphs into a little drunk person; happy, sad, hungry, clumsy, all at once, and that’s not fun or fair on anyone. There are days when the three of us are out and about and I say ‘screw the routine’, and I’ve learned the world doesn’t end. Maybe things would have been different if we lived closer to our families. But having Jamie in the UK away from a big support network meant we were used to doing things on our own, and if things did not go to plan it would generally be me who would have to deal with the consequences. John does shift work and I still havent returned to work so we (I) am working on accepting help when it’s offered, even if it means shifting the routine a little.
I will also work harder at taking a chill pill for my sanity and my ‘hubby’s’, but I suppose whether it a regular Tuesday or your wedding day, it’s not easy to completely switch off from this job, motherhood is a full-time and permanent contract after all!

div align=”center”>This Mum's Life

Cuddle Fairy
A Cornish Mum

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6 thoughts on “Being the Bride and being the Mum.

  1. What a lovely post, so great to read. It is so hard to switch off from mummy mode isnt it. I try the out of sight out of mind route now that mine are a little older and I have got back to date night just to feel like an adult again! Its the best job in the world and I’m glad you had such a great day:)

    mainy – myrealfairy

    #bloggerclubuk

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  2. Congratulation! Sounds like you had a lovely day. I think it sounds like you found a good balance between bride and mummy, and that you have a lovely family to help you out and make sure everyone enjoyed your day. Looking forward to reading more. #bigpinklink

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  3. Congratulations on your big day!!!! Wishing you all the future happiness in the world! Although I didn’t have my children on my wedding day, I can definitely identify with never being able to switch off from mummy mode. Both of my children have always needed a strict routine too, and it messes up the entire day, bedtime, and often night sleep, if we don’t do the daytime properly! I get really anxious if I know they should be sleeping, and they aren’t. My husband is always telling me to relax the routine, but I just can’t! So I felt every ounce of how you must’ve felt on your big day. I hope we will get to see more pictures of the day itself in a future post? I love a wedding post with lots of pictures!!
    Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink!

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    1. Thanks for reading and for your lovely comment, good to hear I am not the only one who stressed about routine. But like you said its us that have to suffer the consequences! 🙈 I will definitely be sharing more pics of our day Im still going through them everyday, love looking back at them. Looking forward to the next #bigpinklink xxx

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  4. Aww congraulations on getting married, our head office is in Edinburgh so I know the Royal Mile well and pretty shoes definitely would not mix! I think if we had Monkey when we were married I would be completely the same. Its just natural and if you child is a routine monkey then you understand the consequences when it doesnt quite go to plan. Thankfully Monkey allowed it to be bent every now and again, I am not sure our next will as each child is different. Its great you managed to let you hair down a bit too though – after all its your wedding day. Thank you for joining us at #BloggerClubUK x

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